jacobfprms15's Blog

War hawk secrets

By Jacob 

            The all new, completely awesome, extremely fun game, War hawk has hilarious and awesome secrets that can only be found by smartys and idiots. Now learn three of these stupid ways to play War Hawk.

Chapter 1: Death to your teammates!

          Sometimes, your teammates will just let you die in the middle of a battle. Well, nothing fells better than pay back. A simple way is just to shoot them, but that gets boring quickly. A fun way is to get him/her into your vehicle and drive right into a mine field, but you jump out before you hit a mine. Another way is to drop your teammate in the biggest battle field you can find.

Chapter 2: Stalling

          This game is all about the planes. You are ether a great pilot or your shot down. Stalling is the effect you get from flying to high. All you do is fall to the ground, but you recover half way to the ground. Your open to an attack when you’re stalling so be carful. What’s so fun about stalling? Stalling wars! Slam each other while stalling. Its better than it sounds.

Chapter 3: Exploding jeeps.   

            Turn friendly fire off and get in a jeep. Have a buddy put mines on the front of you jeep. Then, start your journey across the field. Find a jet on the ground or a tank rolling to your base. Here is the fun part. Ram it! The enemy will blow up; you’ll be alive and still driving! Just remember that your enemy won’t be to happy that you killed him.

      Well, thanks for reading and playing. By.

A fun project.

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Ninja Cats VS the Terminator

Head cat: You shall be defeated!
Terminator: And you will be terminated!
(Two cats jump up and the T.800 throws them to the wall. The T.800 smacks down two more cats.)
Head cat: He is unstoppable! Get the robots out here!
(Two robot cats walk into the room and challenge the T.800. Both R.C.s pulled out a sword and attacked the T.800. The T.800 grabbed R.C. #1 and threw him at R.C. #2.)
Head cat: Bring out the spares.
(40 more R.C. came out and pulled out swords.)
Terminator: Bring out the army.
(30 T.600, 40 T.700, 50 T.800, 30 T.900, 20 T.1000, 10 T.X., 30 T.1, 20 Hunter killers, and 2 carriers ripped of the roof of the castle and jumped in.)
Terminator: What is your death wish?
Head cat: You’re a dork!
(The rest of the cats disappear ((Cloak of invisibility)))
Head cat: He he he he!
(All of a sudden, every T.900 was sliced in half!)
Strange voice: Bark! Bark!
Head cat (Invisible): It’s a dog! RUN!
(All the cats became visible and the terminators…

BUZZ! Announcer: Please stay tuned for the rest of the story. BEEP.
The Machines won this battle, but as the head cat died, he said “I’ll be back.”

A normal business man day.

It was a normal day.Six hours of work and a cheese sandwich. All until a man in his twenties wearing some awesome clothes walks into my office.
“I hear ya run dis side of da big crib.” He says.
“You heard correctly.” I told him. “What do you want?”
“I need a small favor. I know ya heard of da town gangs.”
“Right. What about them?”
“I own em, so unless ya sign dis treaty, a lot of other cribs are burning down.”
This guy is insane. Who dose he think he is to come in here and threaten me. Slowly and silently, I pushed the security button under my desk. That will show this idiot whose boss. It would probably be good to get some information to give to the police. “What do you want Mr.Ganstar.”
I am peeved at da cops for arresting my homies. Hears da deal. Ya keep da stupid cops of us and no bombs get dropped.”
“Freeze! Put your hands up.” The officer looked at me. “Where do you want him?”
“Just kick him out with a warning.” I told them. I looked that freak in da, I mean the eye with a small smile.
“Dis isn’t da done deal! I’ll be back with a gun to ya head!”
“Sir, are you alright?” The officer asked.
“Just keep him out.”

‘What a great night.’ I thought. ‘A huge raise and a free dinner.’

BOOM! A HUGE explosion happened right in front of my car! I got out and saw……Him! That cheap little gangster punk! I turned around and started running until….
BAM! Another explosion happened! I was trapped! Wait. A dark ally! I quickly ran down the ally as fast as I could. I pulled out my phone and called the police. All of a sudden, my phone blew up out of my hands!
“So ya thought ya could run.” I turned and saw 20 men with pistols and that one gangster!
“Freeze!” I turned around again and saw 40 cops! “You’re all under arrest.”

“Thank you so much.” I told the cops.
“Your welcome, and don’t worry. They’ll be locked up for a long time.”

The time traveling Mexican donkey

A time traveling Mexican donkey named Phill gets teleported to World War II! It’s in the middle of the bombing on Pearl Harbor. “Aye caromba” the donkey screams! He tries to teleport back to his own time, but his traveling watch gets shot.
Phill hides inside a toilet for cover. All of a sudden, an OLD lady walks up to the toilet and uses it. She hears the donkey yell “Leave me alone freak”.
“Why do you hide during a battle?” She asks.
“This isn’t my time. Jeezz lady, just go out and die” Phill screams.
“Oh, I get it. Your one of those time traveling donkeys.”
“Mexican donkey.”
“I’ve seen thousands of you. I have helped each one get back to there own time. I can help you too if you want my help.”
Phill considered this. He could ether stay here and get bombed to death, or he could return back home.
“Okay.” Phill tells her.
“Great! By the way, my name is Brittney”
Once Phill got out of the toilet they walked over to the kitchen. Phill found out Brittney had the power to teleport around the world. There was a blinding light, then Brittney and Phill were standing in front of a beet up old house………. in China!
“Oh, Phill. One thing you should know. I don’t help your kind, I destroy your kind!”
Brittney grabbed Phill and throws him at the house. Phill got up and stated running into the house, with Brittney right behind him!
“Come out and play, Philly. You can’t hide forever!” The crazy women screamed.
Phill had the guts scared out of him; really, his guts were on the ground! He had to make a run for it. He scooped up his guts and run like a crazy jack rabbit. He felt a sharp, stinging pain. He looked down and saw a knife in his leg. Everything went blue, then red, then black.

It was beautiful. Heaven. Phill couldn’t believe it. He turned around and saw Jesus.
“Phill.” Jesus said. “This isn’t your time to die.”
“Well this isn’t a dumb fairy tale. I don’t have a second life.”
“Listen Phill, the bing and boom helps you.
“What!”
I’ve sent my magical duck to heal you. Now, when I clap my hands, you will be back in your own time.” Clap Clap.

“Phill! Phill!” Phill opened his eyes to see his best donkey friend, Rhony.
“Phill! You’re Alive!” Rhony screamed.
“Man am I glad to see you. How’d you find me?”
“I teleported after you and saw everything.”
Phill carefully got up. “This isn’t over. I want revenge.”
“Let me guess. Military revenge?”
“Oh ya.”

“It feels good to be the best.” Brittney told herself, lying on a lawn chair. All of a sudden, there was a giant smoke cloud. “NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Brittney screamed!

“It feels good to be the best.” Phill told himself, lying on top of a sky scraper.
“Mayor, mission complete, sir!” The sergeant told Phill.
“Good work boys. Flush the prize down a toilet.” Phill said with a smile.
“With pleasure sir.”

Hello. My name is Jacob and I want to be a designer and tester for Air force fighter jets. I love serving my country and I wish to show it. I am in 6th grade and I have straight A’s so far. I like Halo and Mortal Kombat. I love my family, but MOST of all, I love the LORD!